Why silence is a powerful life coaching skill.
In my journey to learning master coaching skills, I found something surprisingly wonderful in common between coaching (at the highest levels) and my intuitive dialogues with the true self.
This is one of the many reasons that I created the InnerLifeSkills coaching methodology, because coaching at the highest can create sacred spaces.
What was in common between inner intuitive dialogues with the true self and coaching was the use of silence, creating non judgmental space and powerful questions.
Let’s explore the use of silence and space to empower and enlighten.
“Why is silence and space such an important part of coaching to empower and enlighten others?”
When you look at an open sky you feel the open space.
This is not a coincidence.
By focusing on open space, you tune in intuitively to openness itself.
The true self is open, it is like space, unmoved by the tides of human emotion.
When you give someone space like the open sky, you give someone an opportunity to tune in to the true self. Even if neither you or they, are conscious of this.
When you close the space with judgement, a trying mind or by pushing for a personal agenda, the space closes. This is felt intuitively.
This is the tyranny of the false self felt in a very real practical way.
This is why you do your best thinking when you are looking out into open space and when you feel the openness in your body-mind.
This openness echoes the openness of the true self.
So without realizing it, by focusing on tuning in to open space, you tune in to the true self.
It is the same with silence.
Silence is a quality of your true self. This is not a silence that is opposed to noise, it is more like the very fabric of all sound.
When silence is tuned in to, the body-mind intuitively respond by tuning in to the true self.
The false self is uncomfortable with silence and open space. It wants distraction. The false self has no ultimate reality, it is like a program in the mind. It causes the mind to seek endless distractions in noise and things. But when you lead the mind gently to its source, which is silent open space, it is healed.
Silence and open space is like medicine for the body-mind.
“Why is some silence and some open space uncomfortable for people?”
The mind is running from the mind, at war with itself and fighting its own shadows.
Silence and open space can make the conflict more obvious.
When the mind keeps you distracted with television, talking, entertainment or even compulsive thinking, it doesn’t have to face the discomfort of its inner obstacles.
This is why it is so helpful to offer non-judgement silence and space to yourself and others.
To be equal to is to take a stand as the true self, which is silence and like open space, and this alone creates healing enlightening opportunities.
When you know your true non dual self, and stop associating yourself with your thoughts, seeing that thoughts arise in you, you are not in your thoughts, then you gain the freedom and peace of being what you are, as pure awareness.