Our family system does more to us than condition our minds and strongly shape our sense of reality, there are hidden influencing factors that most are not aware of.
Did you know that you can carry known and unknown burdens from even a few generations past?
We can carry unhealed traumas, longings, fears, guilt and even life obstacles from our bloodlines.
Dr Pam Roux, my colleague and friend and I spent nearly 2 years writing a book called, “Bloodlines and Baggage” as an easy-to-read guide to family constellations work, inspired by the trans-generational healing work of Bert Hellinger.
This work is about realising that our personal growth, our healing and life experiences are strongly impacted by the field of consciousness from our family system, and that in order to raise the functioning of our family system to higher levels of peace, love and support, we need to honour the truth of our family structure and past.
QUESTION: “What has family dynamics and burdens got to do with enlightenment?”
APPLE TREE ANSWER:
When the body and mind are burdened by others obstacles, it is difficult to rest attention on and in the true self. Think of the burdens and baggage of the family as magnets pulling at and fixing attention. To realise the self, attention needs to be free to rest on and as the self, as open pure awareness. When attention is endlessly hijacked by an unsettled mind and body, it can make it difficult to tune-in to the true self.
Another way to see this is to think of your life as being puppeteered by different forces. There is a natural, intuitive flow to our lives and yet many lives are not free to move in this natural spontaneous way. The forces that push and pull at life, that cause the body and mind to choose and take action include forces from the family system (together with its past).
Simon wants to explore his musical talent, but he is burdened by a compulsion to want to escape life, even thinking about suicide. Simon discovers that his uncle committed suicide. When Simon hands back the burdens of his uncle, he feels finally free to pursue his natural life flow towards developing his musical talent.
Liza wants to speak up in conversations and in her life, but she feels a strange anxiety every time an opportunity arises for her to voice her opinions. Liza discovers that her mother was abused as a child, beaten for speaking up. Liza gives back her mothers burdens by meditating and doing inner work to be free.
After some time, with conscious effort and intentional contemplation Liza finds her voice is finally free of the past anxiety.
How do we give back our family burdens?
Firstly, realise that this is inner work. There is no need to bring our actual family members in to the work, and often this is impossible since family might be uncooperative or even passed away. This work is done in the body, mind and heart. That is where are family system lives.
The imprint of the consciousness of the family exists inside each of us, so this work is powerful because it its inner work.
Many times the inner transformations cause transformations in the family system itself. This can seem to be miraculous, but is very common for this type of work.
What we are essentially doing in this work, is that we are bringing truth to replace confusion and ignorance. Unconscious confusion and ignorance can be shared in family systems, in collectives of all sizes.
Ignorance breeds dysfunction and suffering.
So the truth is, that each soul can only carry its own destiny and burdens. Just like a cloud doesn’t try to take on the burdens of the mountain, and the buck doesn’t take the burdens of the lion, everything in nature carries its own burdens, according to its own nature and past.
But the human mind, when it is unenlightened can and does create immense degrees of dysfunction.
Because of the mind you can attempt to work outside of your nature, and to break the laws of life, by for example trying to carry another’s burdens.
Here are some guided meditations for you to download or stream to help give back burdens to your family system, and do the inner work that leads to freedom.
Download MP3 meditations for giving back burdens.
Click the Red play button to stream the audio meditation, or click the download button (top right) and download the MP3 for your personal use. Pop in a set of earphones and enjoying working through the meditations which are 25 – 28 minutes each.