Why silence is a powerful life coaching skill.
In my journey to learning life coaching skills, I found something surprisingly wonderful in common between master coaching (at the highest levels) and my daily mindfulness exercises – wisdom dialogues. Both use silence to life coach, and to meditate for wisdom.
This is one of the many reasons that I created the InnerLifeSkills coaching methodology, because coaching at the highest can create enlightening empowering wisdom spaces.
What was in common between inner Wisdom Well dialogues and master life coaching was the use of silence added to creating non-judgmental space and adding powerful questions.
The questions without first creating silence and space are like dragging buckets dragged on the ground hoping for water. Life Coaches that don’t know how to consciously work with silence miss the opportunity to create Wisdom Wells for their clients.
Let’s explore how to use silence to life coach so you can wisdom spaces to empower and enlighten.
Why use silence to life coach?
Here is an extract from a Wisdom Well Meditation journal where I was life coaching myself about using silence to life coach.
I’d noticed that many of my Master Coach students felt uncomfortable in silence while coaching clients. Feeling pressure to fill the space with noise.
But I could always tell a Master Coach from an average life coach by how much silence they used in their coaching. To help me teach this, I asked wisdom to guide me.
“Why use silence to life coach? Help me understand so that I can teach this to my master coaching students.”
“Silence creates the space to empower and enlighten.
“When you look at an open, silent sky, you feel the open space. This is not a coincidence.
“By focusing on open space, you tune in intuitively to openness itself.
“The true self is open; it is like space, unmoved by the tides of human emotion.
“When you give someone space like the open sky, you allow them to tune in to the true self. Even if neither you nor they are conscious of this.
“When you close the space with judgement, mindless comments, a trying mind or by pushing for a personal agenda, the space closes. This is felt intuitively.
“This is why you do your best thinking when you are looking out into open space and when you feel the openness in your body-mind.
“Silent open space helps to open the mind, heart and gut instinct to wisdom.
Without realizing it, open silent space helps others to rest attention and tune in to the true self.
“Silence is a quality of your true self. This is not silence in opposition to noise, it is more like the fabric of all sound.
“When silence is tuned in to, the body-mind intuitively respond by tuning in to the true self.
“The false limited self is uncomfortable with silence and open space. It wants distraction. The false egoic self has no ultimate reality, it is like a program in the mind. It causes the mind to seek endless distractions in noise and things.
“But when you lead the mind gently to its source, which is silent open space, it is healed.”
“Silence and open space offers medicine to the body-mind.”
“Why are silence and open space uncomfortable for some? Making it challenging to use silence to life coach.”
“The mind is running from the mind, at war with itself, fighting its shadows.
“Silence and open space make the conflict more obvious.
“When the mind keeps you distracted with compulsive talking, entertainment or even compulsive thinking, it doesn’t have to face the discomfort of its inner obstacles.”
TEACHING FINAL COMMENTS:
When you use silence to life coach, you create non-judgmental wisdom spaces.
Life coaching can be surface or offer depth. Dragging buckets on the sand or building Wisdom Wells. You get to choose what kind of life coach you want to be!
Silence and space used in your life coaching will help you create depth.
If you are uncomfortable with silence, which is common, first teach your mind-body to feel comfortable in silence, to enjoy it as much as enjoying sitting in nature. Then bring this to your life coaching and watch the power of engaged silence work.
When you know your true non-dual self and stop identifying yourself as your thoughts, seeing that thoughts arise in you, you are not in your thoughts, you can also gain the freedom and peace of being what you are, as pure awareness.